Forced ??

 Hey Chuckaboooo,

Recently, we have had quite a few misunderstandings. But we managed to work through them and am really glad about that. Today, though, I felt something was off and I couldn’t help but wonder why didn’t you try to understand me? I know I struggle to express things clearly when I speak so I thought writing it out might help. Every word you say, every issue you bring up it always lingers in my mind. I don’t just forget it. You told me this week that I should plan and I did plan our weekend. As always, I imagined us having breakfast together. But you had it with your family instead and that’s completely okay, I understand. Then we went to get toast bread for me and I hoped you would be okay with the plan. After I got into the car, you suggested going to that place in KL. And honestly, you have to know, I always want to be with you. I love spending time with you. But in that moment, my mind was racing, thinking about what I could say to Amma and Appa. I didn’t want them to think anything strange. I was genuinely concerned, unsure whether we should go or not. Something didn’t feel right, and my intuition was picking up on that. It’s true, I didn’t say any of this to you then because I truly wanted to be with you. But when you said you were forcing me to come along… that really hurt. Because for me, love can never be forced. Please know that I love you. There is absolutely no way I could ever see this as you forcing me. I don’t feel that at all. Then you said, “I will never expect anything like that again.” That broke my heart a little. I’m here because I want to be because I want to make you happy and give you the best. So please don’t say things like that. Be open with me. Tell me how you feel and if possible, let me know things in advance, it helps me plan better and stay calm. Today, I feel like I failed in making you happy and that hurts. But still I want you to know that just being beside you makes me happy. Truly. It’s okay, baby. But please don’t say such heavy things. It hurts me,I overthink, I analyse everything. You know that about me. Am not here to argue or fight. I just wanted to speak openly.