Hey Chuckaboooo, Recently, we have had quite a few misunderstandings. But we managed to work through them and am really glad about that. Today, though, I felt something was off and I couldn’t help but wonder why didn’t you try to understand me? I know I struggle to express things clearly when I speak so I thought writing it out might help. Every word you say, every issue you bring up it always lingers in my mind. I don’t just forget it. You told me this week that I should plan and I did plan our weekend. As always, I imagined us having breakfast together. But you had it with your family instead and that’s completely okay, I understand. Then we went to get toast bread for me and I hoped you would be okay with the plan. After I got into the car, you suggested going to that place in KL. And honestly, you have to know, I always want to be with you. I love spending time with you. But in that moment, my mind was racing, thinking about what I could say to Amma and Appa. I didn’t ...
I’m finally writing again after so long not because I have anything great to say, but because I’ve been feeling really low. Lately, I don’t even like myself. I struggle to connect with people, and even the one I love sometimes hurts me. When I try to explain how I feel, he always has his own reasoning, and I end up feeling unheard. At first, I was so happy, thinking I was the luckiest person in the world. But as time passes, he’s getting busier, and sometimes, I feel like he doesn’t understand me. I try to be patient, but it’s not always easy, I just wish someone would truly understand me. Sometimes, I feel like I don’t even want to be here anymore. I don’t fall in love easily, but now that I have, he means everything to me. Yet, I can’t keep bringing up our misunderstandings over and over. When he misses me, he hugs and kisses me, and I love that but why isn’t it consistent? One day, if I’m gone, I know you will miss me… but by then, I won’t be there anymore.