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ENTRY: FEBRUARY 10, 2024

On January 20th, I celebrated my 21st birthday, and the highlight of the day was undoubtedly you. It reaffirmed my belief that you are meant for me. Since then, my days have been brimming with joy, and my heart has been full of happiness. I made a conscious decision to give my utmost, sharing everything with you, allocating 70% of myself to you, and trusting you more than I trust myself. Whenever sadness crept in, our cuddles and kisses were my solace. I have never allowed myself to get as close to anyone else as I have with you, always feeling the undeniable spark between us. Yet, whether consciously or not, you uttered the phrase, "don't be like a typical." At that moment, I wasn't angry but rather felt as though you were assuming my love for you was akin to others. It seemed you still didn't fully understand me. After our discussion, you chalked it up to a slip of the tongue, so I let it slide. But today, when you mentioned, "isn't it too early?" I'm left perplexed. Too early for what? I can't comprehend your implication. For now, I can only assume you're talking about an open relationship, which makes me feel cheap. I have always believed that when you give too much, you lose your worth, and now I understand the truth in that sentiment. My love for you remains steadfast, but don't anticipate even the slightest touch from me. I once told you not to make me regret liking you, yet now I find myself regretting, not because of you, but because of my own actions. I'm sorry if my words have been harsh. I simply wanted to be completely transparent with you. However, it seems things don't always go as planned.

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